Unpatient

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Gorpy the Gorilla's Last Show by Unpatient, literature

Antem's Adventures in Kamigawa by Unpatient, literature

Literature

Antem's Adventures in Kamigawa

Entry 1 This place is weird. I've been here for nearly a day and have yet to see the edge of this park. It's like Selesnya finally did something about something. About time. Oh, I think I see grave markers up ahead. Let's see if we can't wrangle up a scouting party. Entry 2 OH GODS, THEY'VE GOT SWORDS. WHO GAVE THEM S-- Entry 3 I've been sighing a lot lately. I must say, I rather enjoy feeling the muscles in my chest strain against logic to draw useless breath then, dramatically, expel it. For near fifty years now, I've kept myself from contemplating every implication of my less-than-dead state, knowing that the truths were li

Leather-Bound Text exerpt by Unpatient, literature

Untitled Exercise by Unpatient, literature

Literature

Untitled Exercise

UNTITLED EXERCISE by Matt Bombara CHARACTERS JEFF -- “The All-American Kid" --A college senior and budding crime fighter. An all around good kid.. MELVIN -- “The Jolly Roger” --Bookstore clerk by day, insane pirate-themed supervillain by night. His lines should be delivered in a pirate accent. SETTING The New Leaf bookstore is fairly-neat bookstore, located on the outskirts of a JEFF’s college campus. There is only one clerk at the counter, MELVIN, who is alone in the store. There are promotional posters and other bookstore paraphernalia on the walls and around the stage. This should seem like any normal booksto

Losing Faith, part 2 by Unpatient, literature

Literature

Losing Faith, part 2

ODIN I want you to kill me. LOKI stops about halfway offstage. LOKI What? LOKI turns to face ODIN. ODIN makes and keeps eye contact. LOKI What did you say? ODIN I know you heard me, and I have told you my reasons. Will you do agree to it or not? LOKI But your reasons don't make any sense! You want to die because you haven't yet? LOKI starts to slowly pace. ODIN makes direct eye contact when he can. LOKI No. Fuck no. You can't just spring this on a guy! ODIN Loki, please. Help someone who has done so much for you in the past. LOKI No ODIN One last task, and I will hold you forgiven for your past deeds. LOKI I do

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Gorpy the Gorilla's Last Show by Unpatient, literature

Antem's Adventures in Kamigawa by Unpatient, literature

Literature

Antem's Adventures in Kamigawa

Leather-Bound Text exerpt by Unpatient, literature

Joseph Heller, pt. 3 by Unpatient, literature

Literature

Joseph Heller, pt. 3

Joseph Heller is a pretty bad dude It was the last night of the Intercontinental Thumb Wrestling Championships, and Joseph Heller was restless. He was totally unprepared for the finals, even though he hadn't lost a match yet. He hadn't slept for two weeks because that, he thought, would be too long. In anticipation, Joseph Heller decided to do back flips. This plan failed, however, when he found out that he could not do back flips. Unfortunately, he only remembered this once he had done three or four. Joseph Heller's thumb wrestling methods were peculiar at best. He chose to use his whole body, rather than just his thumb to wrestle

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Deviation Spotlight

Pirate Wallpaper by Unpatient, visual art

Pirate Wallpaper

Unpatient

About Unpatient

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Artist

Apr 23

United States
Deviant for 18 years
He / Him

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My Bio

Current Residence: Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Favourite Writers

Douglas Noel Adams

Tools of the Trade

Belt of Many Pockets, Towel

Other Interests

Shiny things

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Unpatient

Sep 28, 2007

Bombara Update

0 min read

Doin' fine!

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Unpatient

Feb 7, 2007

yay for icon thing

0 min read

Now that I have Photoshop, I finally have one of those Icon thingies.  Rejoice!  Eunice's control over my profile is complete!

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Unpatient

Oct 16, 2006

Update

0 min read

Wow, I haven't updated since April.  Not that most people care, but I'd just rather see this not talk about stickers I'm not selling any more.  (If you still want to buy things from me, let me know.) I'm doing pretty good on the whole.  I'm in college now, Temple University Main Campus, and it's alright so far.  I'm writing this instead of doing playwrighting homework due to lack of necessary information.  It's not that I have writer's block, but that my mind is focused on another project that's too similar to be ignored.  Other than that, college is going swell.  I'm already in a DnD group, so I have that fix settled.  I'm in a playwrightin